Long Time Coming

You will have to forgive me if this post gets to be a little lengthy; I have discovered that I suddenly have something to write about.

It’s funny how I can go through weeks and even months feeling not much of anything (at least anything worth expressing through prose) and then in one week I have all sorts of emotions to poor into my writing. I think this inability to write has to do with several things: 1. the uncertainty that has thus far surrounded our house search. The turmoil of emotions makes it very difficult to pinpoint exactly what it is that I am feeling at any given moment. 2. The lackluster summer that I recently wadded through with only a few books to keep my feet from getting soaked with boredom provides little depth from which to pull any significant writing material. Thankfully, this has recently changed.

It would seem that God desires me to learn some valuable lessons from buying a house. Some people are able to sail through losing their house purchasing virginity without a single vexation (according to Property Virgins courtesy of HGTV) while others are forced to wrestle every step of the way. That has been me, well, me and Jon. We started real house searching in March of this past year. We searched through what seemed liked a hundred homes (that is probably actually an accurate number…) before we returned to one particular home that caught our eye. It has been the center of our attention since June. We have written several offers, received counters, made amendments, signed papers done a home inspection all to discover that this house was not to be. I ask the question: why? Why have we searched all over creation for a house where we can start our family only to find that it was not actually for us? I felt frustrated, upset, aloof, attached, and disappointed all at the exact time (hence why writing a post was such a daunting task)

This is why:
To remind me that
material possessions are only material
being a godly wife is the greatest challenge and blessing I could ever receive
“a home is four walls that enclose the right person”
contentment is not found in my surroundings but in my heart
finding joy is a both a challenge and a necessity
the only real requirement I have for the house we purchase is that Jon and I get to be there together…what other need is there for a house?
my attitude determines my outlook in life and vice versa..so it is essential that I do not neglect either of them.

These truths were all things I “knew” cerebrally, but I did not have them stored in my heart. God made the house buying process difficult because he wanted to remind me of the all the better things there are in life than the perfect house. It was only after the process that I realized just how badly I needed that lesson. I feel as though God has been watching me from a distance and decided it was time to pursue my heart a little more fiercely.

With all that said (finally, it seems as though that post has been a long time coming), it is time for the other bit of stuff I have to write about. It would seem that the next step for me includes graduate school. Previously my biggest obstacle in achieving my Master’s degree was finances. I have found a way to negate that problem, so I am anxiously looking toward a future of impossible parking, late nights, papers, lectures and the like. (that last sentence was not meant to be read with any sass; I am actually quite excited about returning to the halls of academia.) My goal is to be able to work as an inclusion teacher in a middle or high school. I have found that the standard classroom setting requires my attention to be divided into too many pieces. I long to be able to focus all my attention on everything that is happening in the classroom all at once. I have also found that I truly enjoying working with students one-on-one. I pay no mind to their ability level or where they “should be” according to state tests; the only thing that matters is my ability to focus their attention on the task at hand and enable them to succeed. Gosh is that a great feeling!

So here’s to a new adventure as a graduate student with a changed outlook on life…cheers!

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